Don't Look Away
by alaricnomad
Summary: LP. The way 5x17 should have ended, in my humble opinion. ONESHOT.


**Don't Look Away**

By Alaricnomad

Idly, as she stumbled into the bedroom, weighed down by the heavy weight of her impaired ex-boyfriend, she realized this was the first time she had ever seen Lucas Scott completely wasted. Even in all the years they had known each other, she had never seen him this bad.

Peyton managed to close the door behind them, but as she sought to guide him toward the bed, he shifted against her. With the sudden uneven weight, she tripped and they fell together onto the bed. She landed atop of them, both their bodies bouncing lightly against the mattress and she half-gasped, half-laughed, especially when he looked up at her briefly through glazed eyes and gave her a small, silly smile.

Any hope she had of him regaining control of his faculties, however, quickly flew out the window when his eyes fluttered closed again. She sighed exasperatedly as she shifted her weight onto her knees, outstretched on either side of him. She bit her lip, suddenly hesitant. "Okay," she murmured to herself as she reached for the buttons to his shirt, "We can do this. It's not like we haven't seen each other naked before."

She paused, wincing at the imagery _that_ particular thought conjured up. It wasn't every day a girl ended up undressing their drunken old flame- with chaste intentions, no matter what the little devil on her shoulder told her- while still being not-so-secretly in love with him. She shook her head, dispelling the contradicting reflections. Now wasn't the time to have a mental debate.

By some miraculous feat- she still wasn't sure how she managed it, considering the guilty party was about as active as a body dummy- she wrangled him out of shirt and jeans, leaving him in his boxer briefs. She managed to pull down the covers out from under him as he rolled over onto his stomach, murmuring incoherently to himself. She drew the blanket up over his bare shoulders and sat down on the bedside. She stared down at him, reaching out to rest a hand against his head. She felt close to tears, an all-too-familiar guilt causing a sinking feeling in her stomach.

She sighed his name, "Oh, Luke. I'm so sorry." She softly stroked his hair, her voice low and mournful. "I didn't want this for you."

She leaned down and brushed a kiss to his temple, lingering just enough for the barely-conscious Lucas both the feel of her lips against him and the scent of her. She got up to leave and through his dizzyingly slow responses, he recognized the presence responsible for the pleasant hum running through his body- the one that had nothing to do with the alcohol.

"Peyton," he called out hoarsely.

She turned back to him, regarding him with curiosity and a gentle smile. He blinked distractedly and even through his hazy perceptions, he still knew her to be so beautiful, like an angel in his doorway. "Stay."

Her eyes widened and her smile dropped with incredulity. His voice was gravelly and she wasn't quite sure she had heard him right. "What?"

"Stay with me."

She hesitated, her stomach doing a little nervous jump. "Lucas…"

"Peyton."

"That's not a good idea, Luke."

His eyes were soft, if a little unfocused, as they gazed at her. "Just tonight, Peyton. Please?"

She sighed. With the exception of the ill-timed marriage proposal, when had she ever been able to deny him anything? "Okay. Fine."

She climbed onto the bed beside him, toeing off her shoes. The moment she lay beside him, Lucas rolled over to face her, wrapping his arms around her. She didn't resist the embrace but didn't relax into it either. It wouldn't do any good to upset him.

He nuzzled against her neck. "Hmm, I missed this. I almost forgot how good you feel. And you smell so good."

His lips brushed against her nape and she squirmed, turning away from him. "Go to sleep, Luke."

He nodded, snuggling closer. By turning away from him, she had escaped his gaze but gave him better access as he moved to spoon up against her, arms around her waist. She gave in, nestling against him. If she was going to be there all night, she supposed she might as well get comfortable.

He sighed against her hair. "I have so much to apologize for."

Oh God. Now was not the time for Lucas Scott confession hour. Especially when he wouldn't remember in the morning. "Luke, don't."

"No, please, Peyton. Look at me." He cupped her chin, tilting her unresisting face up to look him in the eye.

"I've been such a selfish man."

"Lucas, stop-" Her heart tightened painfully and she near pleaded with him.

He cut her off, "No. Listen. I've hurt you. I'm sorry." He rested his head atop of hers, heaving a heavy sigh. Her nostrils flared at the strong whiff of alcohol that accompanied. "I was insecure…I was stupid. I'm sorry…" the repeated apology fell breathlessly from his lips and she could feel him shaking a little.

She rested her head against his chest, hearing the thundering rhythm of his heartbeat, matching her own with its urgency. She hugged him tight to her, unable to do much more.

Drowsy, he closed his eyes, pressing a kiss to her cheek, "I love you."

She sighed, no defenses left against him. "I love you too."

"Forever?" The tone to his voice was soft and plaintive, like a child.

_I'm going to love you forever, Lucas Scott._ She nodded against his chest. "…forever…"

"Will you be here in the morning?"

"Yeah…I'll be here."


End file.
